One Year

One Year. One whole year since my doctor pronounced us infertile and changed our world forever. Two years of hoping and trying for a baby. 27 cycles. 5 rounds of IUI. Months of various medications. At least a dozen self administered shots. A ridiculous amount of at home ovulation and pregnancy tests. Too many uncomfortable …

Hey Jealousy

Sometimes people ask if it's hard for me to be around their kids because of our infertility... the short answer is No. I don't know if that's true for everyone facing infertility. But it's true for me. It does not upset me to be around and love on your children. They are so uniquely them, …

Messy Middle

I keep waiting for the happy ending. The triumphant victory of two hard won pink lines that leads to joy with our loved ones and concludes with a gorgeous baby of our own. It hasn't happened yet. We are still in the middle. The messy middle of no. The never ending cycle of grief. The …

Sunday is Coming

Recently, I read a little quote about not allowing a season of loneliness to become a lifestyle of despair. And I blinked at the little bit of light peeking through the cracks in the cocoon of darkness surrounding me. My self-made cocoon of despair. I was already there. Trapped in this fog, this seemingly inescapable …

Runaway

Did you ever run away from home as a kid? Maybe your feelings were hurt or you got in trouble. Maybe you were overwhelmed by just how big life was when you were so small. It's practically a rite of passage. I asked my mom for a good story about me running away, and I …