Abundance

The impending New Year always makes me reflective and introspective. A little nostalgic, a little excited for a fresh start. What about you? 2018 has been a year of complicated feelings. There has been so much hope mingled with such devastating disappointment. Happiness colored by heartache. But the thing that this year, this season of …

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This is just a thought

She wrote about how much better her life was now that she was a mom. Triggered. I was immediately angry. Bitter. Sad. Resentful. The "Why Me's" crashed over me for a few minutes, and then I pressed stop. I made myself pick apart why this particular post made me feel that way. Two years into …

One Year

One Year. One whole year since my doctor pronounced us infertile and changed our world forever. Two years of hoping and trying for a baby. 27 cycles. 5 rounds of IUI. Months of various medications. At least a dozen self administered shots. A ridiculous amount of at home ovulation and pregnancy tests. Too many uncomfortable …

Messy Middle

I keep waiting for the happy ending. The triumphant victory of two hard won pink lines that leads to joy with our loved ones and concludes with a gorgeous baby of our own. It hasn't happened yet. We are still in the middle. The messy middle of no. The never ending cycle of grief. The …