I’ve been waiting for you.
There’s something so delicious and satisfying about a fresh start, don’t you think? Truly, I think you can choose to stop and start over at any point – otherwise you’ll always be waiting for next Monday or the first of the month. But… a new year is kind of exciting. A chance to really reflect and reevaluate. What’s working? What isn’t working? What do you want to have accomplished by this time next year?
I’m not really into resolutions per se. I mean… I would like to lose a few pounds, conquer my financial problems, rid myself of road rage 🤦🏻♀️, blah blah blah… we all have vague ideas or thoughts we toss around. I think getting specific is the only way to get things done. And a year is a really long time frame. So, I’m working on creating a few really specific goals for myself to work on over the course of the year. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t step into 2018 with a fresh focus.
For the last few years I’ve been picking a word as my theme for the year. (2015 was brave, 2016 was joy, 2017 was gratitude). That word becomes the thing I keep coming back to when my best laid plans start to fall apart. Each time my theme has come to me it seems to correspond with the challenges I’ve been facing. (God is pretty cool like that) So, it was no surprise when the word that struck me for 2018 was hope. Of course! After a year of exhaustion, lack, heartache, and despair… oh, this heart of mine just needs some hope. I want to feel expectant and excited like I haven’t in months, maybe years. I want that thrill, that desire.
So, what am I hoping for?
Well, a baby. That’s certainly where this all began. I am choosing to hope that this is our year, to feel excited that we are taking steps to make this dream a reality.
That day by day I will come home to myself. I’ve spent so much of 2017 feeling lost, like I wasn’t sure I existed outside of my desire to be a mother. But I’ve been me for 29 years. Just me. And honestly? I miss her. The girl who has never wanted to be anything other than an actor. The girl who wasn’t afraid to fight for what she wanted. I miss the heart that thinks of others, the brain that’s always working, the spirit that is bold, brave, and maybe a little sassy. There’s a lot more vulnerability that lives here now, but I think there’s enough room for all the parts of me to coexist. If I can get out of my own way. 😉
I hope to become the ultimate encourager. I have felt unendingly supported and loved this year throughout all of our hardship. There are so many people who have held me up along the way. I want to be that for others. To step outside myself and my problems, to be truly available when others need me.
I feel excited about having hope as my theme, my word for 2018. Mostly because I know where my hope is found. Even on tough the days, I know God’s got this.
I am expectantly awaiting a year of miracles and to see God move. I am walking into 2018 full of hope.
What about you? Do you have any resolutions? A theme for the year? I’d love to hear what you come up with!
Wishing you the most wonderful New Year of all!